This is one of my favorite pictures from our wedding. I've always liked photographs where I cannot see my face, but I can see the reactions of the other people in the picture. These pictures are more apt to take me back to the moment they were taken. When I look at this photo, I feel the happiness that was surrounding me, Matt's hand in mine, the soft brush of my veil on my shoulders, the sound of my voice as I spoke my vows and the smile that was lighting up my face. That is what it felt like to be a bride.
Soon after I became engaged, I began to really think about what it would feel like to walk down the aisle of our church, stand at the altar, and pledge to love, honor and cherish Matt forever and always. Up until that point, when my engagement ring was on my finger and it was all very real, the idea of being a bride had been an abstract thought in my mind. Sure, I had played wedding and dress up and dreamed and talked over the details of the day since I was a little girl, but I had never actually thought about what it felt like to be a bride. One of the first things I remember realizing, almost instantly and almost (but maybe not) surprisingly to me, was that all of a sudden, the dress and the details and all of the planning faded in importance. What was so crystal clear in my thoughts was that I was about to enter into an amazing relationship, a spiritual relationship, transcending anything I had ever experienced before.
The morning of the wedding, when I woke up in the giant hotel bed, I started to giggle. "I'm getting married today, I'm getting married today!" I was like a little girl - bouncing and wriggling and hugging myself. I could barely contain my excitement as I sipped my chai, sat in the salon chair and put on my makeup. The initial glee transformed into stronger emotion that culminated as I stood in the church vestibule waiting to walk down the aisle. As I looked to the front of the sanctuary at Matt, I was overcome by a feeling so powerful and amazing, I cannot even find adjectives that begin to verbalize it. I started to well up with tears, but then I began to feel certain. And this certainty was every bit as powerful as the wave of strong emotion that had just overtaken me. When I got to the altar, I wanted to look into Matt's eyes and memorize every moment of my pledge to him and his to me. I wanted to feel the moment to its fullest, hold it in my heart and never let it go.
That is what it felt like to be a bride.
