Monday, November 14, 2011

Thinking about Gratitude


Yesterday, I watched the sweetest scene unfold in our living room. Christopher brought his ride-on rocket to Matt because the sounds were not working. A few days earlier, Matt had tried replacing the batteries, but it had not resolved the problem. Even though he was sure that the rocket was unfixable, Matt got out his tools and began disassembling the toy into many pieces with Christopher watching intently. As Matt worked, examining wires and the control panel, Christopher looked happily at his father and said “Thank you, Daddy. Thank you for helping me.” His voice was clear with true appreciation. Matt paused to look at me, and we shared a wonderful smile.

It has been so important to us to instill a sense of gratitude in Christopher. I am constantly thinking about the character traits and virtues that are important and how I can help Christopher to adopt them and understand their value. I would have to say that gratitude tops my list of important characteristics. I feel like it is a cornerstone of humanity, something that we can absolutely not survive successfully without. Cicero said “Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others” and Martin Luther called it “The basic Christian attitude.” To me, its lesson is all encompassing. Gratitude is not just something we feel, it is something we should act upon and demonstrate in our daily lives.

Unfortunately, in busy modern life, sometimes gratitude is pushed aside. All too often, it seems like the focus is on finding someone to blame rather than someone to thank. A criticism has become easier than a compliment. With strangers that we deal with day to day, it might seem more important to complain about bad circumstances than to give praise in situations that exceeded our expectations. With friends and family, who hasn’t delayed sending a handwritten card or making a phone call to thank someone for a gift or kind gesture?

Recently, I read about John Kralik’s book “365 Thank Yous”, a collection of daily thank you notes to individuals that have helped him in life. I haven’t read the book yet, but it instantly got me thinking about some of the people that would be recipients of my notes. Certainly my parents, who instilled the values and sparked the passions that have carried me through life. And undoubtedly Matt, for knowing the heart of me like no other person and providing leadership for our family. Then my thoughts turn to some of the people that I have minimal contact with, but enhance my life on a day to day basis. The waste collection driver that honks for Christopher every Monday as he picks up our garbage because he knows how excited Christopher is to see the big truck lift and dump the can. The man at the lab that gave me his place in line so that I could go through more quickly since Christopher was waiting with me. The airline agent that let my overweight luggage slide because she could see I was upset that I was leaving my mom for a year in Japan. These small acts have touched me, and enhanced the quality of my life.

In this season of Thanksgiving, it has been a delight to read some of the daily status updates of my friends that have taken the challenge of posting what they are thankful for each day. I think sometimes Thanksgiving gets swept aside in the rush to the holidays. Their daily posts have slowed that pace down and given me daily reminders in the ways that all of us are blessed.

I’m thankful that Christopher is beginning to understand gratitude, that he was able to thank his daddy and tell him why he was grateful. The scene gave a twinge to my heart because I thought his words were so sweet, but I knew that Matt’s attempts to fix the rocket would probably not work. In the end, it wasn’t the working rocket that mattered, it was Matt listening to Christopher and taking the time to look at the broken toy. The gratitude was in the act. “Thank you, Daddy. Thank you for helping me.”

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